An Ode to Venus in Retrograde
Warning: triggers, + sensitive reading (#metoo)
Venus in Retrograde is always wild..
And now with Venus in Scorpio while retrograding..
the heat is on, and spicy romance fills the air..
There’s no stopping it.
So so many beautiful women have reached out these past few days sharing their story, their heart, desiring clarity around love..
So I felt rather than keeping all the juicy stuff to the PM’s, I would share my thoughts here too..
And share a private side of me I rarely ever share. Part of me said don’t hit publish.. this is 'TOO MUCH'; the louder part my heart said - why the heavens not? We all need to know we go through tough times..
Just like any retrograde cycle Venus is just asking us to relook at all aspects that she governs, dive into the shadows we hold on it.. and revaluate how we show up to it in our life.. and she governs Love, the things we value and enjoy, Pleasure, Money, Beauty and Magnetism..
Today we are talking Love.
It’s a prime time to re-evaluate our relational habits
Within a relationship container
Or allowing one that is not working to break down
Naturally dissolving; Venus does not play around
Clarifying which relationships are meant to stay (not just romantic ones), and which to go.
Feeling into the meaning, the lessons, the clarity and deeper self-awareness this and/or other relations brought
Inviting you to ask
Were do you find yourself still in co-dependent patterns?
Where do you find yourself still looking for love and validation outside of yourself?
Where do you give your partner your ‘everything’, and leave nothing for yourself?
And not just in romantic relationships, friendships too.
It can be a very tender time..
unraveling the stories✨
Facing the music
Deciding to grow.
But it’s also a powerful, sexy and empowering time
Celebrating the upgrades since the last Venus in Retro cycle.. (phew - personally, it is like night and day and this time around I am finding ease and just a deeper sense of sacred sensuality and inner self love.. which always manifests on the outside as a mirror to that inner landscape.. with some tender moments inviting me to even deeper levels of self-honoring and devotion..)
But it took me time to get here.
35 years of time.
In no particular order
It took me many lessons
It took me core wounds
Childhood pain that shaped me.
It took me divorce.
It took me being sexually abused as a child by the female help.
Touched deep at night when everyone was sleeping
It took me having so-called male friends I considered my brothers joking about gang raping me before a Reggae concert; although ultimately protected from the negative intent, this left me in serious trauma.
It took me a boyfriend who turned into a stalker.
It took me gaining a layer of protective fat that wouldn’t leave because my body was terrified of being too beautiful, too sexy, too alluring, again.
It took me going through a couple of amazing relationships with beautiful men who worshipped me, adored me, the way a woman deserves to be.
I had to walk away regardless because they were just not the right fit.. leaving me with so many gifts of sincere love and lessons
It took me sometimes years of conscious celibacy (going 1 year 7 months now).
It took me co-dependency addiction
and soul-sinking, heart-crushing narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic men that could not (truly) love or show up for themselves let alone me.
If anything really got to me, that did.
But what it did do was light a fire under my ass.
Which opened a new door for self-awareness .. and wisdom.
And ultimately, freedom.
I know I’ve gone through it all,
So I can understand it all
So I can relate to it all
So I can do the work I do now. ✨
There’s no pain left.
(Or at least, not much - VR always highlights any tiny or not so tiny leftovers - let’s be real.)
That pain has been transmuted, alchemised to light.
Over these years.
That light you see didn’t come from having an easy life.
It came because I was committed to a spiritual journey of full awareness and ascension
Of maintaining my connection to my divine innocence no matter what.
It’s a choice we can all make.
Watching with clear eyes now, understanding people on deeper levels..
Psychological, emotional and energetic toxic patterns
They no longer feel like much of a mystery
I can smell them.
I can see right through.
Clear as a crystal.
No judgement, just love
Just deep understanding
When you commit to learning the in’s and out’s of sacred, conscious relationship
When you accept the mountains and valleys of life as training ground
For ultimate elevated consciousness and return to Source
And a deep knowledge of what you truly want and what you deeply deserve
Not based on your perception of someone through their potential, through the story you create and project on them
You no longer accept sub-par, mediocre, or misaligned connections of any kind.
And in relationship with a partner that’s not ‘perfect’ but inherently good, if your hearts are right together, you commit to growing through it
It’s a different way of being than when you look to your partner or any other human to make you happy
You cannot gain happiness from another
That’s not how it works
You can only rise in love and joy together
Commit to growing through your shadows together
But waiting for someone else to make you happy
You will be waiting a lifetime
You’ve got to love you, babe.
Deeply. Fully. Infinitely.
And when you do
That’s what happens
When you’ve done the work
When you’ve refused to settle
When you’ve consciously walked away anytime things weren’t completely in alignment with your body and soul
When you’ve trusted divine timing.
When you’ve decided to turn your life into Earth School and humbly accept the lessons that come your way as opportunities to grow your light, by loving, witnessing, getting super intimate with and forgiving your dark, first.
Yes I’ve experienced a lot.
We all have.
We are waking story books.
Each life could fill not just hundreds, thousands, but millions of pages..
That’s why I’m here
That’s why I show up
No despite it all
But because of it all.
It’s time to rise and to let the old fall away
To share the lessons learnt
So we can rise together.
Celebrating my graduation
Anticipating more subtle lessons (they never really end)
To explore this next, delicious chapter.
And so in love with this life.
...and so in love with each one of You, tribe. ✨✨
Thanks for reading and share share share what’s in your heart.. I’m here to say the things other people won’t or can’t say.
And I’m here to listen. 👇🏽♥️✨
Inspired by conversations with my beloved goddess sisters @sassaasli and more .. and held by the divine masculine @cbmeditates thank you for holding space for me to unravel and share my truth love ✨
P.S when things come up, memories of old flames and experiences, sadness or joy this VR, feel it ALL and Cry cry cry if you need to.
Let the energy move
Especially for those of you who’ve broken up recently
Give yourself space to be with the grief
Don’t try to be okay just yet
It’s perfectly okay to be where you are
Read, rest, let the waters flow
Without letting the energy leave your system
You won’t be able to fully move on.
#theartofradiance #realtalk #withlove #venusinretrograde #fullyembodied