What a Day of Silence (Nyepi) in Bali Taught Me.

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I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT ON THIS TRADITIONAL BALINESE HOLDAY THAT MARKS THE NEW YEAR FOR THIS MAGICAL ISLAND, BUT WHAT IT DID BRING THROUGH WAS… ILLUMINATING.

On the pre-Nyepi day of Ogah Ogah, huge statues of beasts with scary faces and menacing figures were hauled through the streets to scare away demonic spirits before the New Year rolled in.. and more activity than usual ensued with what felt like all the people on the island rushing to buy last minute food, groceries and basics to last through the one day of Nyepi itself, where nobody was to work, go out, cook, eat (fasting instead.. but obviously not everyone observes this), or do anything other than rest, meditate, go within, and solely focus on the inner work and landscape that often goes overlooked. 

In this day and age, this whole things feels - sublime, courageous, authentic and awe-inspiring.

As the internet was switched off for 24 hours (yes!!), and with everyone staying indoors in meditation, fasting, prayer and contemplation mode, 

What I realised,.. more clearly than ever, is how:

We are constantly numbing ourselves from feeling with distraction and stimuli. 

Trying so hard not to have to go into the silence, where the Shadow that stalks us

The aspects of ourselves we deny, dislike, disown

Makes itself known, undeniable, and very very loud.

And being connected 100% of the time is a huge way we have, in my opinion, become heavily addicted to self-numbing, distraction addiction, inability to focus, endless scrolling and spiritually bypassing what we most need to heal and integrate.

I am not excluded.. I have watched myself today become morose and resentful at times at not being able to connect during some moments when the novelty of quietude wore off.

I wanted at least my YouTube serene calming music.. maybe even Netflix after my spiritual rituals of card readings, meditations and deep nourishing and restorative naps were over. Something. Anything.

My system has been in a state of stress throughout this move (I am now on a paradisiacal island I call home, is that shocking?!) Well, it was certainly unexpected to me, for a big dream of my life to have been less than smooth. I love to feel grounded and have a routine, and this move showed me just how important and necessary it is for me not to have too many changes all at once. Moving from Airbnb to Airbnb and hotel to hotel whilst I looked for my home took a toll; and once I finally settled into my new home, at least for March, Nyepi came just in time to help restore my energy and soothe my nervous system from all the overstimulation this magical land can bring (when you’re not on holiday!)

Bali is not just coconuts, palm trees, jungles, rice fields, fruits, beaches, vegan or instagrammable cafes and resorts

It’s also LIFE

In all its complexity, glory, colour and paradoxes.

Alongside the Mama Bali initiations that hit almost everyone the first month(s) of being here.

(Yes it’s a tropical paradise but it’s also a volcanic island and a spiritual vortex that stirs up all your sh*t so you must face it, cleanse it, and integrate; more on this soon)

The trafficky streets, scooters and bikes zooming here and there and everywhere; the pollution from said bikes and cars on tiny winding Ubudian roads, plastics discarded and beaches also polluted. Noise, horns, color, tourists (oh so many) as well as the aforementioned magic all intertwine and co-exist.

But today - there’s none of that.

Silence.

Jungle sounds.

Rain.

As I lie in my queen sized bed flanked by billowing white linen curtains, crystals surrounding me and candles lit all around and the sound of the jungle and the tropical rain soothing my soul, I feel a sense of readiness to hunker down and write. Write what my soul has been wanting me to bring through, but couldn’t, through all the activity, noise, change, meeting new people, and new discoveries of the past few weeks and months.

What this day made me realise, was that I don’t remember one day in the past 5 years where I have not faced the laptop or iPhone screen at least once, for an hour or many moreso. And this… is quite shocking. Even on holiday I would be typing away, in creation mode, constantly researching, reading, creating. I’m not sure I would love to completely be rid of the internet and laptops, but I’ve certainly fantasised about a Utopian time where we would live in community, in presence, and would not need to be connected through social media and the internet.

And today showed me how this makes time slow down, back to when we didn’t complain that time was short and the day would certainly not fly by.

I am watching this day mature like fine wine, and as the night and black sky falls my system and circadian rhythms feel more restored to what nature definitely intended for us.

Space for technology, yes, but not at the expense of human health and well-being. Or the planet’s.

More time in contemplation and gentle restfulness, and much, much less in fight or flight, adrenaline go, go, go mode.

More time communing with loved ones.. breathing them in, seeing them, REALLY seeing them, and letting them see you, FEEL you, with the ‘busy, important, face in phone’ mask right off.


And what does this all mean?

More time embodying the Divine Feminine and Masculine principles of being, communing, dancing, expressing, creating, resting and flourishing in union with all beings and with Source.

Moving away from the patterns of the Toxic Feminine and Masculine that have kept us stuck and disempowered, personally and collectively, in ego and slave and war consciousness. Which has kept us trapped and disempowered, as a human race for eons.


Which the patriarchal program of never really switching fully off and honouring our divine nature, honouring the Feminine rhythm (also the rhythm of Mama Gaia, nature itself) or regaining our sovereignty, has tried to keep us in.

But we are waking up.

And embodying our ultimate goal as an ascending collective of living in remembrance of who we really Are, and why we are here.

I am in awe of this island, its people, and the community here in Ubud that was created out of a mutual desire for living within nature, not apart from it; and expressing and exploring our spiritual, artistic, and cosmic essence. It’s a Mecca for this energy and one big reason I was called to make it my home.

It’s a big step towards the New Earth, as we create this bridge from 3D to 5D.

Still so much to be done, but that is done one breath, intention, and baby step at a time,

With full knowledge and trust that love has already won, and our vision of Nova Gaia already existing. #timelines.


So, there is no rush.

As that is the essence we are needing to move away from in order to anchor in a higher consciousness.

Life on this island teaches me that so much more. 

Lots of coconuts, dragonfruit, and insane vegan food along the ride. Alongside so many holistic healing opportunities and offerings. 

There is the invitation to slow down here, but also, to keep up the manic pace of the matrix and ego’s needs - even whilst going to yoga, cacao ceremonies and living a conscious life.

That’s why ascension and spiritual sovereignty is not a particular location in the world, it’s a way of being and existing. 

It’s a frequency, a vibration we can choose to tune into and embody.

Of being able to see, where are we still playing small and falling into a lower vibration? Comparison, competition, ‘not-enoughness’, and jealousy, among so many other of our human trappings.

There’s a lot of timeline hopping going on now as we figure out where we want to be. A lot of one legs stuck in the 3D while the other attempts or manages to ground somewhat into 5D and beyond

That’s what Ubud is for me. A vortex of beauty, lushness, promise, paradox, and still a lot of necessary maturing in spiritual consciousness (but that goes for most of this world at this time)

And this day of Nyepi, a blessing to experience with the Balinese, has taught me that my soul desires, and will get, so much more of this, on a regular basis.

At least half a day every weekend digitally detoxing.

Communing in nature, silence, the ocean’s waves.

Because otherwise .. the matrix wins. (Well, only temporarily)

And we can’t have that ;)

Are you with me?

Do you feel me?

Share your experiences with connectivity, self-relationship and well-being in this digital age below.

P.S. Some tips on bringing the lessons of these experiences and upping your self-care even whilst staying connected to social media, coming in the next Journal entry x



Heba TallahComment